Read the book?

Tamra surveyed students at the end of a freshman course.

Quiz question 1: What is the most important thing you learned this semester?
Answer 1:  If you read the book, the quizzes are a lot easier.

Quiz question 2: What would you change about this semester if you could? 
Answer 2:  I would read the book more.

i forgot

No introduction necessary. The message just is what it is. Grammar errors were not corrected.

Im so sorry i forgot to turn in my paper, I did do on time can you please find it in your heart to give me some credit i would be truly grateful

instructions

"Dear professor, I'm sorry I submitted more than one assignment. I didn't understand until after I read the instructions."

from Dana, a marketing professor teaching upper-level courses

Critical thinking skills

Michael teaches an upper-level economics course. A student emailed him that she was going to have hand surgery in the next couple of weeks and wondered what she could do to ensure she didn't fall behind.

He went into great detail about reading ahead, learning to use a computer mouse with the opposite hand, working now on the case study due in a couple of weeks, etc.

Really? Shouldn't a college-level student be able to use her vast critical thinking skills to figure this one out on her own?

Thanks for having me

Jeri, a business professor, received high praise from one of her students in an upper-level courses: "This class was fun. And thanks for having me n the class, ur a good teacher." She noted to herself:  "I failed along the line somewhere."

Bedbound break-in

Maryann teaches a college-level online course and received this just before the term ended. None of the grammar was corrected. Must be very frightening to be bed-bound during a home invasion but at least only the computer was taken!

"Goodmorning Dr., i want to notify you as to what is goin on wit me. Someone broke into my home, stole my computer, printer, folder, and study material. I have not been to work. I am on bed rest, however, i attempt to enter class this morning and could not get in."

But I turned in a paper

Susan teaches a Management Information Systems class - an upper-level business course that introduces students on computing and network systems used in business. She assigned a case study and received one paper that included the student's name and information in the upper left corner and the assignment name "Case Study" neatly centered at the top.

But that's all. The student's response: "I turned in a paper."

Professors goof too

I have no one but myself to blame for this one.

So I'm lecturing in a PR class today using the publisher's slides when the next slide reads, "Keep the pubic interest in mind at all times."

Why staying in school is always a good idea

From Maryann, a business professor:

Why staying in school is always a good idea... excerpt from a student assignment: "My fellow classmate decided it would be a uneek for us to work over facebook. Wow i thought Man he is Smart of Course we all Agrred."

Mom calling

From Cathy, a business professor: The phone rang, I answered, and the voice on the other end of the line said, "Hi, I'm so-and-so's mother, she's a student of yours, and she had a question . . . (now talking to the student who is in the room with her) what was your question hon?" Turns out the student is in her 20s and is married but her mother is still making phone calls for her?!

Optional quizzes

This one is from Bill, a friend and colleague who teaches nursing students. After the final exam on the last day of a traditional 16-week course, a student sincerely asked him,

"Were the quizzes [throughout the course] optional?"

Invisible ink

This is from Jordan, a college graduate who keeps in touch with me and loved the idea of this blog.

"I'm sorry but all I have to give you are 50 blank pieces of paper... My 2-year old secretly swapped the ink in my printer with invisible ink. Enjoy grading this, I worked hard on it. :)

House fire

My friend and colleague Maryann donated this one.

"Yesterday, a student's house caught on fire, but luckily, the only thing damaged was the computer with her final paper on it."

Trojan horse

This was donated by one of my students who likes the idea of this blog. Thanks, Matt! I'm glad you didn't use this one on me.

"A Trojan Horse ate my internet assignment! I swear!"

No rush - course ends tomorrow

An adult student posted this six days late and hours before an online course ended.

"I am truly sorry for posting my final project late. I had to celebrate eight days of Hanukkah with my family. Please grade when you have a chance."

Inspiration for this blog

The blog was inspired by the creative, funny, outlandish, absurd, and amusing comments from students regarding everything from late assignments to missing final exams. Many professors want to respond with everything from "you don't say?!" to shocked silence. 

A few of these comments were spoken to me but most were told to my colleagues. All contributions are welcome but please do not include profanity. All posts become the property of this blog.